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Dateless

Thursday, May 31, 2012



I'm almost always the LAST person to complain about being single. I actually like it, but sometimes flying solo has its disadvantages. Examples?

When you're at dinner with your cousin and her boyfriend.
When you're stuck with your best friend and his girlfriend.
When you're at a wedding.

...ESPECIALLY when you're at a wedding!

Now, mind you, I'm still rather young. I'm not the thirty-year-old that everyone looks at with pity, wondering when she'll get married.

No. I'm a college student. A young college student at that. Still, a small cloud of awkwardness seems to loom over me sometimes.

I got an invitation to attend the wedding of a former middle school peer and a girl I knew from Pathfinders (an equivalent to a co-ed boy/girl scouts).

I hadn't seen either of them in a few years, and the wedding wasn't too far away, so I figured I'd show some support.

This was the first wedding I went to by myself. I usually would go with family members because my peers were too young to get married...at least I thought. I could talk about that another time.

I arrived and saw two good friends of mine. Of course, I sat with them. Who wants to sit alone?

The wedding came and went. People started to leave the church. My right hand met the right hands of many people, most of whom I knew.

"Nia! How are you?"
"I'm well. How are you?"
"Good. Who are you with?"

Wait. What?

Granted, some people may have been looking for my parents or sister; but I got a slight preview of what it feels like to be dateless at a wedding.

"I came by myself."
"Oh, okay. What have you been up to?"

Being the master communicator that I am, I was able to divert the attention away from my dateless-arm and have a decent conversation with acquaintances and near strangers.

It was still weird for me, though. The two friends I sat with were long gone, and I was the single among the groups. Whether it was two friends, a group of friends, relatives, a dating couple, or a married couple, I was still the loner among them.

"It was great to see you."
"Thanks! You, too. Take care."

This recurred a few times as I waited to greet the bride and groom. When that finished, people were making their way to the reception.

Now, I either had something to do, was tired, or couldn't stand being dateless anymore. It could be one, none, or all of those, but for some reason, the reception wasn't in my plans and I was eagerly anticipating my departure.

One problem.

I didn't drive myself. *face palm*

I don't remember who dropped me off or who was to pick me up, but I remember waiting around the church lobby.

Conversations were made with people I already spoke with; and, one by one, the people were dwindling away.

"Nia, you're still here?"
"Oh, I'm about to leave."

But those who asked left before I did.

I remember making calls.

"Are you coming? I'm here alone! How far away are you?"

And there, I realized another disadvantage of being dateless. There's no one to accompany you when you're waiting for your car ride.

Misery.

I swear I drank from the water fountain and went to the restroom to look in the mirror at least a dozen times. I was trying to pass the time.

When the water fountain and restroom visits got old, I decided to sit on a bench outside so I could make my way to my ride sooner than immediately.

All of sudden, another former classmate of mine showed up. He, too, was by himself. Initially, we talked kind of awkwardly, only because he and I are both naturally quiet, and we didn't speak much before. However, he and I manage to laugh and catch up.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Oh, how badly I wanted to say yes. He's not my taste, but he'd gotten a lot cuter since the last time I saw him.

"That's okay. My ride should be here any minute now. Thanks so much."
"No problem. It was nice talking to you."
"Likewise."

We hugged and said our goodbyes. He doesn't know it, but for a while, he filled in for and took over the responsibilities of the date I didn't have.

Shortly after he drove away, my ride arrived.

"Thank God," I murmured as I made my way with a quickness.

Now, I know that wasn't a big deal because, like I said, I'm still rather young. But regardless of my age, I need a companion. I don't need a boyfriend or anything. I'm not necessarily looking for Mr. Right, but I'm sure as heck bringing a friend next time. I'm never, ever going to a wedding by myself again.

Never again.

Follow me on Instagram @NiaDevereux.





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Over 200,000 Views!

Thursday, May 24, 2012



Whoa! When did this happen? Another goal has been reached!

This is beyond awesome! Again, I'd like to thank ALL of my followers, those who read the blog, those who comment on the blog, and those who accidentally visited the blog. =)

Thanks for contributing to greatness!

Here's to another 100,000 views! *Clinks glass*


Meanwhile, I encourage you to check out the latest "Beautiful People. Beautiful Things." post. I think it's pretty good. =)


Follow me on Instagram @NiaDevereux.
about.me/NiaLangley
Email: nialangleyspeaks@gmail.com
Formspring: /NiaSpeaking


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Beautiful People. Beautiful Things. (Segment 6)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere I go; everywhere that I've been, the only thing I see is beautiful people."

I'm sorry for not be on top of the blogging game lately. This law firm internship has me doing a lot of stuff! Expect some good posts soon. For now, it's time for another round of Beautiful People. Beautiful Things. Here's the next installment of ten photos that inspire me. Enjoy!

Click on the photos to make them bigger.

Kenny Nogueira - Photo by Leandro Franco
leandrofranco.net


Paula Patton and Robin Thicke

This is a house.
Supermodel Iman's first photo shoot
Photo by Steven Meisel

Christian Louboutin pumps
My sister in St. Maarten - Photo by Nia Langley

Kenny is gorgeous. Wow. I used the Spanish I know to secure permission from the photographer to use that photo. You should be proud. =)

Also, if I understand correctly, Iman's first photo shoot was also Steven Meisel's (the photographer) first photo shoot. Cool, huh?

Make today a beautiful day.

Follow me on Instagram @NiaDevereux.











Photos: No copyright infringement intended.

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Round Three of My Favorite Quotes

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Greetings, lovelies! Today was my second day at my law firm internship. I'm helping with a case already! Meanwhile, I'm sharing some more of my favorite quotes. Hope you enjoy!

Some of these quotes are motivational, some of them are funny, and some are just random. Some of these quotes are from famous people, some of them are from my friends, some are from anonymous people (or I don't know/remember who said them), and some are from myself. Some of these quotes are from movies or books. Some of these are from interviews, and some of these are simply from everyday life. Here it goes.

*I'm not going to put my friends' last names on here, just for protection purposes. I guess. If there is no last name, chances are he/she is a friend of mine.
*The movie/TV show/book a quote was taken from will be in parentheses.


"It's better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"You're unique...just like everybody else."

"You can't pray a lie." -Huck Finn (Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)

"Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug."

"I'm feeling a little short. Time to get on my pedestal."

"One day, we will look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

‎"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, 'I'm possible.'" -Audrey Hepburn

"What I'm doing is really trying to hold up a mirror to our society so that people can see how beautiful they are." -Alvin Ailey

"The mind is the only weapon that doesn't need a holster." -Kevin James (Mall Cop)

‎"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."-Abraham Lincoln

"We walk like models."

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” -Thomas Edison

"'And all this weave shall be added unto you.' -Extensions 8:24in" -Steve

"I'm a professional crastinator." -Nia Langley

‎"Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason why I have trust issues."

"Jesus take the weeeeeave." -David

"You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shade when its shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes, you close your window. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me." -Bob Marley

"Don't go broke trying to look rich. Act your wage." -Jovon

"Music is what happens between the notes."

"The Bible is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions."

"Dora, you're multilingual at age 4. You should be able to find the banana tree."

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey

"Sometimes when you ask God to protect you from your enemies, you start losing 'friends.'"

"Some people say 'good things come to those who wait.' Truth is, good things come to those who work."

"Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you."

Me: Bible trivia! What tribe did Moses come from?
Aliya (my sister): The Mosites.

Aliya (my sister): Remember when we had our fail of a lemonade stand that one summer? We sold like one cup of lemonade...to mom.
My mother: You only sold one because you were charging $5 a glass!

"I love you. Cross my heart and hope to live to make you smile." -Chris Lee

Any favorites from this collection? Any favorites that aren't listed?

Read the past quote posts HERE and HERE.

Follow me on Instagram @NiaDevereux.


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Street Stylin' with Stockholm (Part 3)

Monday, May 7, 2012

Today, I decided to show you a few of my favorite pictures from Stockholm Streetstyle. It's inspiring how there are some insanely stylish people just walking around, minding their own business. It's awesome!



















Any favorites?

Follow me on Instagram @NiaDevereux.

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art schlichter

Sunday, May 6, 2012

art schlichterArt Schlichter: Bad bets and wasted talent
Gambling addiction leads quarterback to a cell

By Scott MacGregor
The Cincinnati Enquirer

schlichter
Schlichter when he was arrested in May
This is where a gambling addiction will take a man: He will steal from anyone, even his family. He will trash a promising professional football career and waste a powerful charisma that makes even victims want to believe in him after he has shattered their trust.

He will end up in a crowded jail cell, awaiting a trial that could put him in prison for 20 years.

Art Schlichter has done this to get money to feed the addiction that's controlling his life. He's so sick that he knows the wrong he does but does it anyway — crying to his therapist, wondering why he can't stop and whether he's losing his mind.



art schlichter

Schlichter's fall has been more public than most. Once Ohio State's golden-boy quarterback, he was a star athlete with an image so wholesome that his biography was titled Straight Arrow.

He was a first-round NFL draft pick, a contemporary of John Elway, Dan Marino and Steve Young. But while they spend their retirements awaiting the Hall of Fame, he lingers in a cell in the Marion County Jail in Indianapolis. He faces federal charges of money laundering, including unauthorized use of his father's credit card to get $42,000 in cash.

Federal prosecutors expect to formally indict him in the next 60 days, and he will remain in custody through a trial. He also faces state charges in Indiana for violating the terms of a 1999 prison release and state charges in Ohio for theft.

The nightmare can end, his advocates say, if he is given a chance and proper treatment.

art schlichter

“There are people who think he's an absolute, 1,000 percent con man,” said his lawyer, Indianapolis federal defender Linda Wagoner. “And there are some people who think he's very sick.”

Schlichter's latest problems are no surprise. Through 18 years of personal destruction, he has been banned from the NFL, lost millions of dollars and his marriage, run up debts of more than $300,000 and spent four of the past six years in 17 different jails and prisons. In 1997, he was pulled out of a court-ordered gambling treatment program and hauled back to jail when he was caught betting.

Schlichter, 40, declined to be interviewed for this story because of his pending legal case. His father, Max Schlichter, also declined, saying he wants to keep his son out of the news.

“I know he has caused a lot of people pain, and I've felt very angry at him, just like everybody has,” said his ex-wife, Mitzi Schlichter, who helped found the Custer Gambling Treatment Center in Indianapolis after she left her husband six years ago.

“But at the same time, I know his pain is also very real. That's been hard to watch. The most painful thing about the whole process is seeing the turmoil he's been in for such a long time. He's very sick, and I think he needs a lot of help.”

Schlichter knows he will be haunted until he gets that help. In 1996 he told People magazine how he felt after he stole from his wife's purse.

“When you start stealing from your family and friends,” Schlichter said, “you know it's only a matter of time before you're in jail or you put a gun to your head.”

What he threw away
Friends and family members respond the same when asked about Schlichter.

“It's the greatest waste of talent I've ever seen in my life,” said Donn Burrows, who worked with Schlichter in sports talk radio at Cincinnati's WSAI-AM in the early 1990s.

Growing up on a farm outside Washington Court House, about 80 miles northeast of Cincinnati, Schlichter was a school-boy idol. Rugged. Handsome. Talented.

A gifted athlete with a rifle arm, he went on to star at Ohio State, then become a No.1 draft pick of the Baltimore Colts in the 1982 NFL draft. His combination of skill, intelligence and arm strength seemed to make him the ideal candidate for stardom.

But the disease that's now called compulsive gambling had taken hold of Schlichter even then, and the $350,000 signing bonus he received from the Colts sent him on a spree. He gambled it all away halfway through his rookie season. He was suspended by the NFL in 1983 and reinstated the following season.

Cut by the Colts in 1985, he never played in the NFL again. By 1988, when he filed for bankruptcy to shield himself from creditors, he claimed to be $1 million in debt.

When FBI agents searched the Schlichters' Las Vegas home in 1994 and couldn't find money he had allegedly stolen, they demanded to know where he was hiding it. Mitzi Schlichter had only one answer: “He gambled it all away.”


Anything to gamble
Schlichter placed bets any way he could — mostly at horse tracks and on sporting events through bookies. Even after his legal troubles surfaced, bookies continued taking his bets. If he didn't have the money to pay them, he'd find someone to give it to him — or he'd take it by fraud.

He claims to have started gambling as a kid, betting nickels and dimes on card games. At Ohio State in Columbus, he would take $40 or $50 and spend an afternoon at the local track, Scioto Downs. His bets grew into the hundreds of dollars, then into the thousands when he started betting on baseball games.

Even that became chump change. In Baltimore, where Schlichter's bets grew to the tens of thousands, he reportedly made calls to bookies about NFL games from Memorial Stadium's pay phones. In the spring of 1983, he lost $300,000 in one week.

Burrows said Schlichter told him that as a backup quarterback with the Colts, he was supposed to be charting the plays on a clipboard on the sideline. Instead, he charted the out-of-town scores of games he had bets on.

Media reports describe how he would call a play in the huddle, only to forget it when he got to the line of scrimmage because he was thinking of a bet.

The bet always has been the most important thing; he once hocked his wife's ring for money. Even after he left the NFL, he gambled nearly his entire salary from the minor league Arena Football League and his radio jobs. He hid it so well that Mitzi Schlichter says she didn't know the extent of her husband's problem — or how much he was gambling — until his legal troubles began to mount.

“He had so much money, the amount had to be high for it to be a thrill for him,” said Chuck Grubbs, an old gambling friend. Grubbs was in sixth grade near Washington Court House when he first met Schlichter, who was seven years older and the hero of every small-town boy in Ohio.

The two became fast friends in the early 1990s at local horse tracks, where Grubbs, who owns and races horses, helped Schlichter handicap races.

“I knew he was making money playing Arena Football,” Grubbs said. “But I didn't know where he got (so much).”

When the money ran dry, Schlichter began writing bad checks. Casinos, knowing his record, allowed him to cash $160,000 in bad checks.

He'd borrow money from friends, then repay them with checks that were no good. He stole checks from his employers, and once, even, from his sister-in-law. During breaks in his radio shows, Schlicter would often be on the phone hitting people up for money, Burrows said.

“He preyed on people he knew, acquaintances, people he'd meet,” said Grubbs, who said even he became a victim.

Before Schlichter was arrested last month, he spent two nights at Grubbs' Grove City home. Grubbs said he awoke one morning to find Schlichter gone, taking $9,000 and Grubbs' credit cards.

“Every day when he wakes up, he's thinking of where he can make a bet,” Grubbs said. “It's a demon in his body. He stole off his dad. How can he not steal off his friends?”

Therapy undermined
In 1994, the same year FBI agents searched the Schlichters' home, Mitzi took their two daughters — Taylor, now 10, and Madison, 6 — and left Art; their divorce became final in 1998. Ruining his football career, friends say, was not nearly as shameful to Schlichter as ruining his family. His love for his daughters is unquestioned by anyone, even Mitzi.

“It makes me so sad, to think of all he could have been,” Burrows said. “It's got to be an illness. Nobody in their right mind would throw away what he has.”

Schlichter claimed to be getting counseling through a 12-step recovery program in prison in Terre Haute, Ind., where he served time for bank fraud in 1996. And in 1997, he was ordered by the court to the Center for Compulsive Gambling in Baltimore, where he was caught betting seven weeks into psychotherapy.

Another patient had convinced him to go to a local horse track, and as a result, Schlichter was sent back to jail. Last year, he was released and ordered into an Indianapolis rehab program called Sober Life, which deals mostly with drug and alcohol abuse and not compulsive gambling.

Just last May, federal agents charged Schlichter with money-laundering and tracked him down in the small northeastern Ohio town of Ravenna, ending a three-day manhunt when they arrested him peacefully outside a diner.

An IRS investigation discovered Schlichter allegedly had conned a suburban Indianapolis woman out of $100,000, promising to buy tickets to sporting events and sell them at a profit. Federal prosectors allege that to pay back the money, Schlichter took his father's credit cards and made unauthorized cash advances, repaying some of the money and taking the rest. Schlichter's own lawyer admits his latest problems are the result of gambling.

Schlichter's abundant charisma allows him to keep luring people in. Even though he knew Schlichter's history, Burrows found himself inexplicably drawn to his gregariousness and good humor.

“He's a fascinating person to be around — among the most charismatic people I've met in my life,” Burrows said. “He has the ability to say the right thing at the right time, and he knows what you want to hear most.”

Burrows said when they worked at the radio station, Schlichter often would enter the studio by asking if the FBI or police had been there looking for him. Burrows thought he was joking at first, but now realizes Schlichter lived in constant fear of being caught.

“One day, he was staring at me, and I asked him why,” Burrows said. “He said, "You know, Burrows, if you lived my life, you'd have committed suicide by now.'”

art schlichter<a href=

Root of his sickness
While Schlichter was on the run from police in May, he made frequent calls to his former therapist, Dr. Valerie Lorenz, the director of the center in Baltimore where he had been treated three years earlier. Schlichter would be confused and in tears, Dr. Lorenz said, wondering if he was losing his mind.

She's not surprised. Pathological gambling has been defined as a serious psychological disorder by the American Psychological Association since 1979. The high comes in escaping reality and believing that past debts can be repaid quickly and effortlessly.

Dr. Lorenz said Schlichter isn't even an extreme example of a compulsive gambler; his infamy just puts his case in the public spotlight.

She believes that like most compulsive gamblers, the root of Schlichter's problem stems from childhood traumas, including a fractured relationship with his father.

Dr. Lorenz, who counseled Schlichter for seven weeks in 1997, said that as a boy, he was so haunted he could do nothing but try to escape reality.

In their sessions, Schlichter talked of his need for genuine affection, not hero worship. According to Dr. Lorenz, he talked of fights between his parents, fights that were often about money and losing the family farm.

“And what's gambling about?” Dr. Lorenz said. “Money.”

Mostly, Schlichter spoke of how the expectations of his athletic greatness had destroyed his self-esteem. Because he was so talented, he always felt the pressure to keep pushing and be the best, Dr. Lorenz said. He was treated as a freak because he was so good, and he never developed the emotional stability he craved.

After a fire burned two-thirds of his back at age 13, a young Art was just expected to deal with it without working through his fear, Dr. Lorenz said.

Older kids didn't like him because he was better than they were in sports. At Ohio State, players were jealous when coach Woody Hayes promised him the starting quarterback job as a freshman, Schlichter told People magazine.

Dr. Lorenz says they were at a critical stage in treatment when authorities sent Schlichter back to prison in 1997 after being caught at the track. Part of the therapy involved bringing Schlichter's family members, including his father, into therapy sessions.

“We had been able to cut through some defensive walls, get to some very, very painful issues in his life, things he had never shared,” Dr. Lorenz said. “He was emotionally bleeding, and that's when they ripped him away.”

Hope in treatment
His advocates believe the biggest question Schlichter faces now is not legal, but whether he can get the proper treatment they believe he needs — and if it will work.

Dr. Lorenz believes it would. If left alone to be treated for six months, she says, Schlichter could “absolutely be a functional member of society. He will be able to cope with stress, but that doesn't mean he can ever gamble. But he's absolutely not hopeless.”

Ms. Wagoner, Schlichter's lawyer, said she will push for Schlichter to be sent back to Dr. Lorenz's center for treatment as part of any new sentencing on the federal money-laundering charges. But Ms. Wagoner is not optimistic the court will agree.

Local prosecutors have consistently argued that society is best served with Schlichter behind bars, and there is almost no gambling treatment in the prison system.

“I don't question for a minute you suffer from (compulsive gambling),” said the judge in his 1995 trial. “But people were hurt by your criminal conduct.”

Some believe that Schlichter isn't yet willing to admit that he is the problem, even though he talks of wanting treatment.

“His biggest problem is Art Schlichter,” said Burrows, who hasn't talked to Schlichter since he was arrested in 1995. Their last conversation came when Schlichter called Burrows from jail, asking him to secure a $50,000 book advance. Burrows was unsuccessful, and says Schlichter never called back.

“Whatever the addiction is, the first thing he has to do is make an effort to quit hurting people,” Burrows said. “He's got to quit taking other people's hard-earned money and stop sloughing it off by saying he has a problem.”

Said Mitzi Schlichter: “It's very sad that Art may be going to jail again. But the reality is, this isn't the end of the story. There is still an opportunity for change.”

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